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Showing posts from November, 2008

Hall of Famer Daisy Mae Duke

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Yes, we know, it was Catherine Bach who started the whole thing. But inducting Catherine would have left a blonde void in the Hall and forced us to recognize two women for the same thing, kicking ass in tiny shorts. They are called Daisy Dukes for a reason. Well at least women women are wearing them, other wise they are just creepy. And Jessice sure did live up to the hype that started way back when. This induction is marked by two memorable images.

Hall of Famer Brooke Christa Camille Shields

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We at Jorts like only one thing more than Jean Shorts. And that is girls who talk dirty. While Brooke's fame is built not on shorts, but on full jeans (and a hot ass) we cannot deny that her one single line forever transformed the fabric we love. "You want to know what comes between me and my Calvins? Nothing." Need we say more?

Denim Hall of Famer Brett Lorenzo Favre

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First in his class for the Denim Hall, Favre is pictured in his favorite Rolled Cuff Jorts, the faint hints of a tight mullet hiding behind his baseball cap. Favre is a lifelong devotee of the All-American fabric, and is currently a pitchman for Wrangler. Never one to stray from his roots, my source tell me that Brett keeps these same Jorts in his closet to this day. The gridiron start and certain Pro Football Hall of Famer was unaivalable for comment on his selection to the Hall Of Denim. Also unavailable was an explanation of Favre's middle name, Lorenzo, which is seldom associated with white boys from the Deep South.

Hall Of Fame

Here at Jorts , we have made and executive decision to create the Hall Of Denim. The Hall itself will be an elaborate structure with many columns and porticices . Or portici , or whatever, I don't even know what a portico is anyway, but the Hall will be very Ornate. Although it is not yet built, we are going to begin the process of assembling the first class on inductees. The rules for induction are simple. The Hall itself will consist of people who, through their creative use of Denim, Shorts in particular, have helped raise the profile of the most All-American of Fabrics. To this end I submit the first class of inductees. Over the course of the day today, I will Present each of these Luminary figures, along with the Image that will mark their place in the Hall.

Homeless Shoes

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Whats the point of a Leaf Blower? All you are doing is blowing your problem off to another persons yard so you don’t have to take care of it. Why is this so acceptable to people? What I got a garbage shooter and all my trash was launched over the fence to somebody else's house? You ever see a homeless guy on the side of the road with a Dog? I hate that. I like to stop and drop off a bag of Dog food so the dog doesn’t have to suffer. You can see it in their eyes, especially when the Paris Hilton types drive by in their convertibles with a puppy in their purse, “How did I get stuck on the freeway with this smelly dude, and fluffy is riding around in that purse and doesn’t even have to walk” You ever see a shoe on the side of the road? Its always just one shoe. How does that happen? What are these people doing that causes sudden dramatic Shoe Loss? Are people just driving down the road with their feet out the window? Wouldn’t you consider coming back for a shoe that just flew out the