Long time gone

But now I'm back.

Sorry I was away so long, its ok nothing funny happened anyway.

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J.O.R.T.S. always appreciates the feedback of loyal readers. Recently I asked our readership to assist me in Scouring the interwebs for a photograph of Super Bowl Winning QB Ben Roethlisberger clad in denim shorts. This photo was not found. In its place, I submit to you a widely circulated photo of Heisman Trophy winning QB Tim Tebow in his Jean Shorts. The observant reader will also notice that Mr. Tebow is wearing what appear to be Birkenstock style sandals with his Jean shorts, causing one to wonder if perhaps he thought he had won a Time Machine as part of his Heisman Prize. He looks as if he is ready to travel back to 1994 and take a recruiting tour with Danny Wuerffel. Unbeknowst to me however, Tebow is merely trying to keep in touch with his fan base. Our next photo shows a loyal gator fan displaying the stuff of champions. This unnamed fan has stumbled into the wrong section for a Florida- Florida State Football game, and a rather lovely young seminole has taken the opportunit...
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Work Place Rant

Workplace Tips, and things to avoid. The Break Room fridge. This is not a place to put food that you ever want to eat again. This is a place to donate food to your apparently starving co-workers. If you put a Pizza in that fridge at lunchtime, it is guaranteed to be completely gone by 3 o’clock. Well almost completely gone, there will be one piece left in the box, obviously bitten in half. Despite the very clear teeth marks in the final slice, you will find that some stranger will appear instantly to inform you that “someone” tore that off, it wasn’t a bite. These Bite deniers are the strangest of creatures. They are not there to tell you that they themselves did the tearing, but to place them blame on another co-worker. After relaying their insignificant bit of false information, they disappear again, waiting for a sandwich to be left so they can eat a corner of it, and leave others to ponder. Be Ware of the bite deniers. The Microwave Could you clean it? Really, its not that...
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Tips for the Gym

As we enter a new year many people feel the need to get healthy, to lose weight and be more fit. As a service to those of you who are returning to the gym for the first time after a long absence, I want to give you a quick guide for guys to avoid at the gym. We will procede through these in a reverse order of danger, from some annoying folks to those who might really be hazardous to your long term well being. The Socializer. Generally a middle aged white man, this creature can come in all ages and sizes, so be wary. The Socializer can often be found with or near coffee. If your gym has a coffee maker, he knows where it is. He also will often be carrying a newspaper. The Socializer is mainly annoying for his ability to not work out at all, while spending long hours at the gym. The Socializer can prevent you from getting your work out in as well. He may lean on the weight machine while you are trying to lift, discussing varius females as they walk by, or he may want to discuss his misinf...
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