Long time gone

But now I'm back.

Sorry I was away so long, its ok nothing funny happened anyway.

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Reader Input

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J.O.R.T.S. always appreciates the feedback of loyal readers. Recently I asked our readership to assist me in Scouring the interwebs for a photograph of Super Bowl Winning QB Ben Roethlisberger clad in denim shorts. This photo was not found. In its place, I submit to you a widely circulated photo of Heisman Trophy winning QB Tim Tebow in his Jean Shorts. The observant reader will also notice that Mr. Tebow is wearing what appear to be Birkenstock style sandals with his Jean shorts, causing one to wonder if perhaps he thought he had won a Time Machine as part of his Heisman Prize. He looks as if he is ready to travel back to 1994 and take a recruiting tour with Danny Wuerffel. Unbeknowst to me however, Tebow is merely trying to keep in touch with his fan base. Our next photo shows a loyal gator fan displaying the stuff of champions. This unnamed fan has stumbled into the wrong section for a Florida- Florida State Football game, and a rather lovely young seminole has taken the opportunit...
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Attention Loyal Jorts Readers

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Attention Loyal Jorts Readers and Fellow KAOS fans. I need assistance with two images. First of all, Super Bowl Winning QB Ben Roethlisberger was seen in a recent issue of Sports Illustrated wearing Some high quality Denim Shorts. I have been unable to locate this image on the otherwise fabulous interwebs, so if anyone can help I would appreciate it. Also, I need you help in determining whether the Shorts shown in the picture below are indeed Denim. There seems to be some confusion regarding the material, and the wearer seems to want to dissasoiciate themselves with the Jorts Phenomenon. Please help loyal reader(s).
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Yard Balls

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In 25 years, I think movie makers will use the PT cruiser as the go- to vehicle symbol of the American Loser, ala Wayne and Garth’s AMC Pacer. “Qualified buyers” If you really are a Highly Qualified Buyer, do you even need the Zero Down Payment program? I love the Yard Sale. And the Garage Sale. Even an occasional Estate Sale. What I think is most interesting is the levels of these things. There is a definite hierarchy of sales. At the top you have the Estate Sale, followed by the Neighborhood Sale, then the Garage Sale, then a Yard Sale, and then it’s just junk by the curb. There are several subsets within the general levels, including the post-auction estate sale, the 50% off sale, and the closeout garage sale where most of your junk is just free anyway. All the names, all the different signs, it’s really all the same thing, you trying to make a nickel off of some shoes you want to throw away. I love it. Speaking of garage sales, here are the items a person should never buy at a gara...
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