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Reader Input

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J.O.R.T.S. always appreciates the feedback of loyal readers. Recently I asked our readership to assist me in Scouring the interwebs for a photograph of Super Bowl Winning QB Ben Roethlisberger clad in denim shorts. This photo was not found. In its place, I submit to you a widely circulated photo of Heisman Trophy winning QB Tim Tebow in his Jean Shorts. The observant reader will also notice that Mr. Tebow is wearing what appear to be Birkenstock style sandals with his Jean shorts, causing one to wonder if perhaps he thought he had won a Time Machine as part of his Heisman Prize. He looks as if he is ready to travel back to 1994 and take a recruiting tour with Danny Wuerffel. Unbeknowst to me however, Tebow is merely trying to keep in touch with his fan base. Our next photo shows a loyal gator fan displaying the stuff of champions. This unnamed fan has stumbled into the wrong section for a Florida- Florida State Football game, and a rather lovely young seminole has taken the opportunit...
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Crazy Mormons

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I have some questions about Polygamist Mormons. Why are the women always so ugly? I think if I were going to have multiple wives, I would need a few of them to be attractive. But not these guys. I guess it’s a quantity over quality thing. Maybe the attractive women know that they don’t have to share a man. That brings up another point. Are these ugly broads flocking to the polygamist sects themselves, or do the dudes go out and actively recruit? I can see how that sales pitch would go down; “So, honey, you’re kind of homely with that straight brown hair, whattya say you come back down to Utah and join me and my three other wives who live in a shack in the woods?” Judging from what I have seen, these women are probably not getting a lot of better offers. If they turn Jebediah down, they will probably just end up buried under the floorboards in the kitchen of the town Librarian. I am trying to lose weight, but cannot turn down fast food. So I have started ordering the Kids Meal every tim...
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MU Vs Florida

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Yesterday on KAOS I was brought in a a guest expert on the subject of knee jeans. The topic was this post, a cover from a new magazine, The Missouriaen; In response, the staff here at Jorts have been researching the subject of Missourians and Jean Shorts. Here are some of the images we have been able to uncover. While the staff has done some great work in this regard, one thing became clear while we were researching this issue. There is not one single place in this entire world where Jean Shorts are more accepted than in Gainesville, Florida. The Sheer numbers are staggering. All over these wonderfull interwebs, Florida Fans are sporting bare calves for all to enjoy. Their love of the dungaree's for your knees is astounding. Here follows a collection of amazing images collected by the tireless reseach staff of Jorts.
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